By the handbook
Post-Dispatch/November 17, 2002
By Matthew Franck
Mountain Park Baptist Boarding Academy's parent-student handbook contains several rules that are at odds with state standards for licensed residential programs and juvenile detention centers. In particular, Mountain Park places severe restrictions on students' ability to communicate by telephone and mail. The school's handbook also includes several rules for parents. The following are excerpts from the handbook:
"Believing that lawsuits are prohibited by Scripture," all parents must agree to handle disputes through out-of-court arbitration. "All arbitrators must be born-again Christians."
At the threat of having their child removed, parents are told to: "NEVER tell your child when he/she is coming home. . . . Our influence will be undermined at this point." And "NEVER keep secrets. Do not attempt to hide any information concerning your plans or your child's attitude/behavior from (school) staff."
"All mail is read by (school) staff. The students' outgoing mail will not be censored in any way. Be prepared to read, 'They starve me,' 'They beat me.' 'They work me.' 'I hate this place.' 'You must come and get me,' etc."
"Incoming mail may be returned to the parent if the content is not in the best interest of the child."
"Parents call in; students do not call out, except in an emergency." And during calls, "students must speak in English."
"BE PREPARED FOR YOUR FIRST PHONE CALL!
On your first call you may hear, 'How could you do this to me? You must come get me! You are ruining my life. I cannot stay here! How long do I have to stay? etc?'
YOUR RESPONSE:
'Dear daughter/son, we called to tell you how much we love you and how much you mean to us. We are not going to discuss this with you. If you continue, we will hang up the phone.'
CHILD'S RESPONSE:
'You can't hang up on me!'
YOUR RESPONSE
'CLICK!!' Do not debate, explain, or counsel. Simply hang up
SECOND PHONE CALL
She/he may regroup and try again. 'I can't believe you hung up on me! You must talk to me about this! They tell me I must be here for over a year, maybe even two years! I can't do this! You're ruining my life!'
YOUR RESPONSE:
'Dear daughter/son, we called to tell you how much we love you and how much you mean to us. We are not going to discuss this with you. If you continue, we will hang up the phone.'
CHILD'S RESPONSE:
'You can't hang up on me!'
YOUR RESPONSE:
'CLICK!!' Do not debate, explain, or counsel. Simply hang up.
THIRD PHONE CALL
New tactics may be attempted by the third call. Demanding did not work, so conformity may. 'Folks, please don't hang up. I am sorry for the way I behaved before. I know that I have been a disappointment to you. But, really, you will not need to leave me here for a whole year. Can't we discuss this like adults?'
YOUR RESPONSE:
'Dear daughter/son, we called to tell you . . ."
CHILD'S RESPONSE:
'Please talk with me. I'm being nice. At least tell me you will think about it.'
YOUR RESPONSE
'CLICK!' Do not debate, explain, or counsel. Simply hang up. Continue this until you have control."
In the event of an illness or death in the family, parents are discouraged from breaking the news to students directly, which might create "an opportunity for the student's emotional manipulation of the family." Parents are advised against allowing a child to attend a funeral. "The risk to the student's opportunity to continue in school must be the first priority."
"Parents must be aware that medical concerns are occasionally used by students as a ploy to get off campus."
"(The school) must have the freedom to make decisions concerning your child's status of orientation and opportunity for service. Parents must refrain from giving (the school) directives concerning any area of orientation or service. . . . If at any time you feel you must give us some directive in areas of orientation or service, simply come remove your child from the academy."
If parents take their child out of Mountain Park earlier than one year, all tuition for the uncompleted year is due immediately "as liquidated damage."
Parents traveling home with graduating seniors are told to make sure their child continues to abide by school standards of dress and conduct "until you are at least one hundred miles from our ministry."
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