How a woman of 21, would cope with romance in her life

Chronicle and Echo/September 27, 1982

A woman doesn't expect to be dated by boys in the same way as other girls her age.

If the 21-year-old is considering romance she will consult an elder of her church first.

And if she decides she wants to marry, she will again seek advice from the elders of the Jesus Fellowship.

She told me that if planning marriage she would talk to her elder because she respected him, not because she HAD to go to him. 'I see my elder as a man of God and somebody of great wisdom,' she explained.

If his opinion differed from hers they would both pray about it and reach a decision together.

'In the end the elder and I would reach the same decision, but I don't think there would be a conflict,' added the university student.

The Fellowship's view on sex is that it is a gift from God to those who are married.

Contraception is discouraged and mixing between single men and women is strictly on a platonic basis.

The Woman's mother shares her respect for the elders of the Fellowship. Her Mother (51) said: 'They are not bullies standing over us with big sticks. They are thinking about our good all the time.'

But when asked if she had ever thought to disobey an elder's request she replied: 'I have never refused to do something I have been asked.'

She believes strongly in the biblical distinction between men and women and thinks the man is 'made to be in the lead.'

Before she joined the Jesus People she often made her Husband do what she wanted to do rather than accept his authority. She now believes that was wrong.

The woman has a motherly role in one of the Fellowship's large homes.

She said: 'I feel I'm mum to the others. I think it's a very funny world we are living in - in my mum's day the women were very happy to be at home with their families. I see this as being good and right and very fulfilling.'

Like her community sisters, she dresses plainly and avoids make-up, and is completely happy in doing so.

'I would not want to wear cosmetics,' she said. 'I think it would be most out of place here. I don't see any need to beautify myself in that particular way. We like to look natural and be natural.'

Her daughter said 'We would not wear any thing that attracted too much attention to ourselves. We are living together in very close circumstances and we want to preserve a purity in our relationships.'