The Words "Love" and "God" were not Mentioned Once"!

Since when do love and God have nothing to do with relationships?

November 1998
By a Sterling Graduate

I attended a Sterling Institute of Relationship "weekend" for men a few years back and was it mortified me.

Here I was stuck in an armory for a weekend with 500 other men under the guise of healing and nurturing healthy relationships with people in my life. But during that time the words "Love" and "God" were not mentioned once! Since when do love and God have nothing to do with relationships?

After keeping us up all night until we were exhausted, they tried to get us to sign something saying we would become one of their members and recruit other men and women into Justin's cause. I did not sign on and got instant attitude for not doing so. In fact my "sponsor" has not spoken to me since--thank God.

During the course of this weekend to "help heal relationships", I heard non-stop degrading of women, was verbally attacked for having divorced my first wife, told I was a lousy father that had ruined my children's lives--even though I saw my kids every single weekend and have a wonderful relationship with them. I was called an assortment of names such as SANG (for "Sensitive New Age Guy). Hundreds of men joined in with the same name calling because I hadn't done what Justin would have wanted me to, which was to stay in a very unhealthy marriage. [Ironically, Sterling's own marriage collapsed see "STERLING'S PHILOSOPHY DIDN'T SAVE HIS MARRIAGE"]

I went to the weekend because I hadn't had a father, nor brothers in my life and felt a dose of "man-ness" would be empowering. It was. But not in the way Justin would have liked. I left that weekend feeling very empowered because I was one of the few men out of five hundred who was NOT successfully brainwashed into becoming a follower. Justin kept saying "Don't listen to monkeys in your head, Listen to me. I will be the voice in your head from now on". I was amazed at how these guys all just went right along with everything he said without question.

He would wrap a completely absurd, warped opinion of his own around indisputable truths and no one seemed to notice, which was a truth and which was just Justin's opinion.

They even had my fiancée, now wife to whom I am happily married, (no thanks to Justin) show up three hours early by lying about the time the weekend ended--so that they could talk her into joining the group. They said our relationship would fail if she didn't.

All the women there were like "Stepford Wives": the blank expression, all dressed the same, almost robotic. It was very disconcerting.