Ted Haggard came to Irving on Sunday to say how sorry he was about the scandal that ended his evangelical ministry in Colorado almost three years ago.
Only, he didn't really want to get into the ugly details for the hundreds who showed up at Calvary Church of Irving to hear the confession and, ostensibly, offer forgiveness.
At first, the church's senior pastor, J. Don George, told the congregation only that Haggard had been caught in an "inappropriate relationship with another man."
At a later service, George said that Haggard had been involved in "a relationship with a male prostitute."
But there was no mention of Haggard's outspoken ministry against homosexuality, right up until the prostitute made their relationship public in 2006.
"All of us struggle with some dimension of sin," Haggard said. "I just wish I would have been more aggressive in dealing with this. It was just very confusing and very hurtful."
Last January, a second man also accused Haggard of an inappropriate relationship, although that wasn't mentioned, either. Nor was anything said about Haggard's use of methamphetamines before his world fell apart.
Haggard, who was accompanied by his wife, Gayle, was paid an undisclosed honorarium for their Irving appearance. They were warmly received.
"We should not be judging him," said Martha Vidal, a church member from Murphy. "I don't think he was trying to excuse himself for what he did."
Some in the audience were surprised at Haggard's apparent lack of candor about illegal drug use.
"Oprah got him to say it," recalled Dorothy Malone, an Irving woman who attended the service with her daughter. "I think he should have been more outspoken about it."
During a break between the two talk-show-style programs, Haggard said the half-hour-long discussions weren't long enough to let him list his various wrongdoings.
"It's just so available out there on the Internet," he said. "If someone had asked me, 'How many times have you used crystal meth?' I would have answered."
Asked what he would have answered, Haggard stopped short.
"I have covered every detail of that with my wife and with my counselor," he replied.
Since March, Haggard and his wife have appeared at dozens of churches around the country talking in general terms about his "sin" and her decision to forgive him.
"I can't go into a lot of detail here," Gayle Haggard said Sunday. She is writing a book about her ordeal titled Why I Stayed, which will be released in January.
"I was as shocked as anyone that my husband would be involved in anything like this," she said, seated on a loveseat beside her husband. "I love my husband. I love this man. I didn't forget about the previous 30 years." The Haggards have five children.
The couple did not call this an Apology Tour; nonetheless, both events Sunday hinged on that sentiment.
"I want to apologize to all of you. ... I violated you," Haggard told several hundred people attending the early service. "I didn't do everything that I've been accused of doing. But I'm guilty of enough."
Haggard, 53, said that he had been sexually assaulted as a second-grader by someone employed by his father. The failure to deal with that, Haggard said, somehow pushed him toward a secretive attraction to men.
"One of the most horrific mistakes I made was not a spiritual problem; it was a physiological problem," he said. "I needed treatment.
"I knew that if I told, people would hate me, people would reject me," he said. "I did confess to a few people, and they gave me nonsensical answers."
Both Haggards skirted any mention of his possible homosexuality. But in an interview in which the question was raised, he quickly rejected the idea that he might be gay
"I used to say that I am a heterosexual with issues," he said. "Now I say I'm a heterosexual with very few issues. My incongruity was due to childhood trauma."
George said he hoped the Haggards' appearance convinced church members that a terrible toll often must be paid for living a secret life of sin. He urged them to confess their sins and ask forgiveness - as the Haggards had done.
"The message of this church is redemption," George said. "A church that doesn't practice redemption shouldn't preach redemption."
