Wife of Stair admits "My husband has sinned"

Teresa Stair admits that her husband has sinned, but he has no victims, as all the girls were willing participants.

The Press and Standard/May 17, 2002
By Libby Roerig

Walterboro, SC -- "Everything is not a lie that you have heard. My husband hasn't denied sinning. He has sinned. He has sinned," she said. "My husband is a man of God, and I can't deny that, and I never will."

"David was a man of God. He committed adultery. He had the woman's husband killed to cover up his sins. You know we read these stories in the Bible, and we never think that can happen today. I mean it does happen, but not with preachers, right?"

Claiming Ralph Stair forced them to have sex with him on numerous occasions, Stacey Belford and Laquiela Horn's accusations are false, she says.

"The women that went with my husband willingly went with my husband," Teresa Stair said. "They weren't victims. None of them were victims. The only ones that may have been victims was one like Mary Bonner, who he hugged, and she said please don't do that. And he said, "Okay, I'm sorry,' and he walked away. He never touched her again."

"There are one or two sisters still with us that my husband tried to hug, and they say, 'Brother Stair, I don't want you to hug me.' He would leave them alone and walk away. Now, the ones that went to bed with my husband, willing went to bed with my husband. This is the truth. He didn't force one person."

Recognizing his sins, the preacher has repented since then, repentance that was a full and heartfelt apology to God.

"God told my husband to confess his sin," she said. "He (God) said, 'You're not going to go into the Kingdom with this. This is going to have to be gone.'"

Let your followers be your judge, God told Ralph Stair, according to Teresa Stair.

"The Lord said to my husband, 'You submit to these brethren and let them judge you.' That's what he told us God told him," she said. "The brothers decided my husband needed deliverance. Deliverance of a demon spirit that had him bound, and he confessed. He wanted deliverance."

Things happen for a reason, as Teresa Stair says she is now a changed woman because of this situation.

"The Lord showed me I had bitterness and anger and malice in my heart and jealousy," she said. "And He used - I'm not justifying my husband's sin, don't think I am - but he used this situation to cleanse my heart, a deep cleansing, because I had very much jealousy in my heart."

Forgiveness comes naturally to Teresa Stair, who says she's had her share of tribulations in life.

"But when you come from where I've come from in my life, you have to forgive whoever, even if it's your own husband, because that's the law of Jesus Christ forgiveness," she said. "He forgave me for my sins. So, it's my husband. Am I not going to forgive my husband for his sins?"

Though she was raised in a Christian environment, Teresa Stair says she didn't know the value of living holy.

"When I was a Catholic, I was taught that adultery was a sin. I was taught that fornication out of marriage was a sin, and I believed it was wrong," she said. "But yet, from the time I was 16, "til I got saved, I couldn't count on these hands the number of boys and men that I had been with. Yeah, I had a horrible, well, maybe it wasn't so horrible. I think everybody does it now, but I mean, it was horrible to me. And I was so convicted, even being Catholic. The night God saved me, I repented of my sins, truly. And that was the end of that desire to continue to go out and do that."

Even a grown woman, Teresa Stair has struggle with the desires of the flesh, she says.

"There are many men at our tabernacle that I look up to and in all of our travels. I met many men of God who I admired (and) who in the natural were more pleasant, were more friendly, were more of a comfort to me than my own husband and simply because they weren't my husband, and they didn't have to deal with me everyday," she said. "I mean it's easier for someone who you're not so close to, and I know that now after 25 years of marriage. That's the way it's always going to be."

Everyone has sins, she says.

"Some people do drugs, right? Some people, do what? Smoke cigarettes," she said. "Some people hate other people. I was guilty of the lust of always wanting to be loved."

As a saved sinner, Teresa Stair knows part of her husband's problem is that he has never faced shameful sin, she says.

"My husband was saved when he was 16. His testimony is amazing, but he had never really sinned as a boy, except maybe sassing his mother," said Teresa Stair. "He really didn't know what sin was - I mean real sin."

But Stair couldn't help himself, because evil spirits attacked him, he told his wife.

"He said, "Can you, can I make you understand I was overtaken by a spirit.' He said, "I have been delivered. The brothers prayed for me. That spirit is gone,'" she said. "He said, "It will never come back.' He said, "I have victory over that.' He said, "And furthermore I don't want that anymore. I don't desire that anymore. I'm not even drawn, not even a little bit by that.' And I say thank you father.

"My husband's like a David. He wasn't strong. But now he is, and I know it. I know it. And I don't care if no one else believes it. I know. I'm his wife of 25 years. I know what's happening now."

Of all people, she should have been one of the last people to forgive him.

"My God, if I was willing, why couldn't anyone else be willing? If I was willing - I'm his wife and I'm still there," she said. "I'm going to go back there again and stay in my place. I've been told to submit. The Bible tells me to submit in everything, to my husband as unto the Lord."

God wanted Teresa Stair to forgive her husband, she says.

"Can you put yourself a little bit in my place? I love my husband. God put us together. I know that for a fact," she said. "I saw the mercy of God and the grace of God extended to him and the forgiveness of God extended to him, because God could have struck him dead many times, many, many times.

"If I don't forgive my husband, how's God going to forgive me for my everyday little failures? Everyone looks at adultery as the unforgivable sin."

Teresa Stair, 49, says she is three months pregnant - a pregnancy that was prophesized by a vision over 10 years ago. A community member, who has since died, told Teresa Stair that she had a vision of her teenage daughter, Naomi, holding her baby brother.

"You know there are several people who don't believe me," said the prophet's wife.

Because of this trial, their marriage has become stronger.

"You know why I'm pregnant? (laugh) Because our relationship has just been wonderful," she said. "It was always wonderful. He never denied me anything, as far as a physical relationship. He was always a good husband. Always."

Even in spite of Stair's sins, his wife trusts him completely.

"Do we have a perfect marriage? A perfect life? We have a perfect marriage as far as fidelity goes. We have a perfect marriage as far as trusting one another," she said. "I believe I can say that. I trust my husband. I don't doubt any more that he could walk anywhere on that farm, and I know he's not going to do what he did."

Stair's wife is worried how these allegations will affect her daughter long term, as Naomi Stair is very close to her father.

"If these people, if these people loved God at all, they would at least think of a young, 15-year-old girl. But her own daddy, and spare her," she said. "What ever they think he's done, my God, what's wrong with these people?"

Despite the fact that Stair's former followers are making accusations against him, Teresa Stair has no bitterness towards them, she said.

"I love those people still - every one of them," she said. "And if anyone of those sisters came back and said, "Could we live here again?' God Bless you sister, sure. I would have to do that."